Anxiety: A Quiet Companion We Can Learn To Live With
Writing about anxiety feels a bit daunting. I wonder, will this resonate? Will it be useful? Maybe it’s just a jumble of thoughts. But if you’re reading this, maybe you’ve felt something similar. And if so, you’re not alone.
The Weight of Anxiety
Anxiety is more than just nerves or worry. It can quietly grow inside us, feeding on fears, fear of failure, rejection, or the unknown. It shows up at the worst times, uninvited but persistent.
The real challenge isn’t just feeling anxious. It’s what happens when we ignore it. Anxiety can settle deep in our bodies: racing heart, tight chest, restless nights. Left unchecked, it can even pull us toward depression.
Anxiety Is Part of Being Human
Here’s what I’ve learned: anxiety is a natural part of the human experience. It may never completely disappear. But that doesn’t mean we have to be afraid of it.
Small Steps to Manage Anxiety
Managing anxiety doesn’t require big, dramatic changes. Small daily practices, like exercise, mindfulness, cooking, reading, or journaling, can soften its grip. These actions won’t erase anxiety, but they can make it more bearable and manageable.
How to Start
The first step is simple: notice your anxiety.
Next, meet it with kindness. Instead of fighting or fearing it, try responding with compassion. This shift can change your relationship with anxiety and help you regain control.
You’re Not Alone
If this resonates with you, remember: it’s okay to feel anxious. And it’s okay to ask for support. Sharing our experiences can be a powerful step toward healing.
If you have your ways of managing anxiety, I’d love to hear them. Drop a comment below or share this post with someone who might need it.
The Balanced Man
Growing up in environments predominantly filled with boys, whether in school or within my family, while also having two sisters, I experienced a complex interplay of societal expectations around masculinity and emotional expression. From an early age, I internalised the belief that to be considered strong and masculine, one must remain stoic and suppress emotions. This pressure was especially evident in interactions with peers and authority figures, where vulnerability was often equated with weakness.
Yet my experience wasn’t solely defined by conforming to these rigid gender stereotypes. Despite external expectations, I always had an innate understanding of the value of emotional expression and communication. Still, when I expressed genuine feelings of despair or vulnerability, I was often met with resistance or even ridicule. Labels like “too emotional” or “too sensitive” left me feeling isolated and alienated.
Navigating these conflicting expectations has been a journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance. As the oldest sibling in a multicultural family with both British and Ghanaian influences, I’ve had to reconcile the demands of masculinity with my own emotional needs and cultural context. While I recognise the harm of toxic masculinity, I also understand the societal pressure to embody strength and resilience, especially as a man.
Over time, I’ve learned to embrace both sides of my identity, the courage to face challenges and the vulnerability to express emotions. This process has been supported by creating and engaging in safe spaces where I can explore and articulate my feelings without fear of judgment. Whether through therapy, supportive friendships or personal reflection, these spaces have helped me cultivate a more authentic and integrated sense of self.
Though the journey toward self-acceptance is ongoing, I’ve come to appreciate the richness and complexity of my experience as a man navigating societal expectations. By challenging traditional notions of masculinity and embracing a more holistic view of strength and vulnerability, I’ve found greater peace, authenticity and deeper connection with others.
The Illusion of Perfection
When I think of perfection, I imagine that critical voice, a parent, a teacher, or some inner authority, who pointed out my mistakes repeatedly as a child. Not with gentleness, but in a way that planted a seed of fear: fear of not being good enough, fear of rejection, fear of failure. This early conditioning can lead to an obsession with always getting things “right,” a heavy pressure that becomes overwhelming and unattainable.
For some, this pressure manifests as anxiety and self-doubt. For others, it drives them to high levels of productivity, achieving what might seem like perfection from the outside. But at what cost?
In the midst of this, I’ve come to realise that growth and acceptance must coexist. True growth isn’t just about striving for more; it’s also about learning what to let go of. I often ask myself: What flaws am I willing to accept? And which ones do I want to work on?
Because the truth is, some things, no matter how hard we try, may never fully change. And that’s okay.
This idea also reminds me of the religious concept of Jesus dying for our sins, an acknowledgement that while we are imperfect, there is grace available to us. Even though we may never fully stop sinning, it’s comforting to know we are still worthy of love and redemption.
So what if we applied that same grace to ourselves?
What if perfection wasn’t about being flawless, but about being fully human, messy, aware, trying?
We are not responsible for everything that has happened to us, especially in childhood. But with self-awareness, we gain the power to choose how we move forward.
Our imperfections are not obstacles. They’re part of our story.
They make us real. They make us relatable. They make us enough.
In that way, maybe perfection is not the goal at all.
Maybe the journey itself, flawed, honest, and evolving is the perfection.